A Big Round Head

It’s too big, it’s too wide, it’s too strong, it won’t fit, it’s too much, it’s too tough, I talk like this cause I can back it up. I got a big... Such a huge… Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. Well, technically every man has it. Beyonce even hit it at a very high note – she sang it with piano. It’s the intriguing, intimate and complex E-G-O.

Actually, we are already not a stranger to this word. This topic was discussed in psychology class. A psychoanalytic definition would be: Ego is the part of the psychic apparatus that experiences and reacts to the outside world and thus mediates between the primitive drives of the Id and demands of the social and physical environment. That I got from a research at dictionary.reference.com. But honestly, I only half-understood that meaning when I first read it. All I know is that ego is also our pride – thanks for my professor who cleared my misconception that the two is different.

Let’s try to take it lightly. Mr. Wikipedia said that Ego actually is a Latin word meaning “I”, cognate with the Greek “Εγώ (Ego).” Too technical? Here’s the sit. Ego refers to the me, myself or I of a person. This involves all of self’s thinking, feeling, and will. It tackles about how “I” am different (mostly means highly-slash-better-slash-etc) from the others, how people notice (synonym to appreciate-slash-taken-regard-of-slash-etc) “me,” or how to conduct (which is probably be-superior-slash-always-right-slash-etc) myself in public.

Actually, there is nothing wrong with ego. What’s wrong is how we are because we have this ego. Ego also becomes negative depending on the occasion it exceeds most. It’s all in the ‘head.’ It all depends on the person accessing his ego. Should I state some example? I guess stating just one is just too underrated. In truth, by observing ourselves the least, we already have examples.

Not convinced? That is one example. The refusal to admit that we have already surpassed the limits of social standard is a result of heightening ego. It might seem normal to deny, but what actually transpires is that we think that we are the ‘standard’ of human behavior. By believing that we are on a notch higher, we are on the upper seat and social norms are based on our presumption. We decide that the ideas opposing us are all wrong. If we felt that something is ‘right,’ we try to look for loopholes to prove that we are ‘right.’ Worse, we create ways to diverge that ‘right’ on our side so that it seems we made the ‘right’ thing/decision.

Let me give you a short anecdote:

After a tedious final examination, Luciano and his friends chat about what might be the results. “Hey! I asked Mansuelo if he would pass the test. He’s confident that he will,” said one of his friends. “What? Well if that Mansuelo loserpants pass, then we have nothing to worry about. Remember, I’m ten folds smarter than him.”

Let us take a review on the first story. How many of us had thought the same as Luciano? Are we saying the truth when we say we don’t? I don’t think so. In a way or two, we had… okay most of us had thought like him. One would say, “So what if I had thought like Luciano? What’s the big deal? I’m just being competitive!” Well, here’s the deal. Thinking that way is arrogance. We are being too proud and we condemn every people whom we felt we are superior to. And I tell you my friend, that is not so good. We must remember that no one is perfect. And that includes all of us except Him. Taking the position as Luciano, what would you do if Mansuelo passed and you didn’t? It would be depressing and shameful right? Atleast that serves better to those who think highly of themselves.

Of course in theory, we won’t be ending up like Luciano. In theory, we can control our ego. In theory, we can think thoroughly our thoughts before we act it. In theory, we would be glad for Mansuelo’s achivement and we would be inspired by his perseverance. In theory, we won’t be thinking that maybe a favor has been done. And in theory, we won’t be hurt, upset, depressed, if it happen’s that Mansuelo got a better score than us. That’s a lot of theories.

But in reality, our ego would make all those theories remain as theories. Because in this cruel world, competitiveness is inevitable - bah! excusess. And also in reality, I don’t have a classmate named Mansuelo and it so happens that my name isn’t Luciano. Haha.

A person who does not watch his ego is on the verge of danger. Eventually it would prove as a fatal flaw. Though ego itself is neutral – what’s wrong with ‘I’ after all? – it could be bad. As Athena said “The most dangerous flaws are those which are good in moderation… Evil is easy to fight. Lack of wisdom… that is very hard indeed.” Pride is a very stealth sin. We have been committing it known or unknown.

It is indeed very true that to defeat your enemies (which were the sins – in our case pride – that would drag us all down to fiery pit of torture which is hell) you must know everything you have to know. Confession, forgiveness and repentance might wash our sin but for the same sin all over and over and over again? Don’t you get tired? Think!

Keep your heads low. A ‘big head’ might be enjoyable to the man who has it. But, be reminded that a ‘big head’ would always cause hurt – especially to the people around him. And not everyone can take in a big round head. Let me give you a tip: don’t let your ego get too big, too wide or too strong, it might not fit, or might be too much, and you might lose the strength to back it up.